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Talking With My Observer

By Kelle Sparta | August 9, 2008

You know, it’s sometimes pretty schizoprenic in my head.  The wonders of having my experience and watching myself have it at the same time.  I find myself arguing with myself at times.  It’s really ironic and totally strange, but sometimes, it’s entertaining as well.  Here’s an example of the types of conversation that I have:

“I feel like crap.”
“Hooray!  You’re allowing yourself to feel!”
“But I feel like crap!”
“Yes, isn’t it wonderful?”
“Bite me, bitch.”
“Wow, we’re really attached to feeling like crap.  I wonder why that is?”
“It doesn’t matter – I feel LIKE CRAP!”
“Yes, yes, I hear you.  I also hear that you’re angry that you feel like
crap.”
“Well, yeah.  I shouldn’t have to feel this way.  But then if I didn’t feel
this way then I wouldn’t appreciate when I felt better. Oh, damn it!  You’ve
ruined my perfectly good wallow.  I hate you!”
“You love me”
“I know, but shit.  It was a really good wallow.  You never let me have any
fun.”
“Yeah, right – you KNOW that comment is true.”
“Whatever – OK, alright – I’m over myself.”
“About time.  Let’s have ice cream.”

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