By Kelle Sparta | October 11, 2012
Hello My Lovelies!
If you’re on the feed for this blog, thank you so much for being one of my readers. I really appreciate you. And I don’t want to lose you. But that’s exactly what’s going to happen if I don’t get you to come over to my new site and sign up for my new blog. Don’t worry – I’m porting all of the old material over, so you’ll still have access to it. But in the meantime, I’m stopping writing on this blog. This will be my very last entry – no really, it will.
This Blog Site Is Going Away.
Resubscribe To This Blog at: www.KelleSparta.com
I know it’s extra effort on your part to move to the new feed and if I could continue the old one, I could, but that’s not how the internet world works. So, to thank you for making the extra effort, I’ve added a bonus for signing up on the new list – a free 30 Days to More Love In Your Life program. I hope you like it.
If you prefer to sign up via RSS feed and you’d still like the free program, please let me know. I’m happy to email it to you. Thanks again!
By Kelle Sparta | September 21, 2012
Have you spent a ton of time working on yourself and things still just aren’t falling into place? Do you find that there are still one or two niggling issues that seem to be holding back the floodtide of juicy goodness into your life?
What I’ve Seen
In my work as a shaman and life coach, a variety of clients over the years have come to me to identify why they are stuck at some point in their process. These clients are often stymied by one particular area of their lives – they can’t find love, or make enough money, or let go of the anxiety they feel daily, or find a way to love themselves, etc. In my experience, there are a few reasons why people who are stuck have gotten that way.
Why You’re Stuck
There are several reasons why people get stuck in their process:
- You’re talking the talk but not walking the walk – In other words, you’re great at reciting all the ways in which change needs to happen for others, but you’re not actually making changes in your own life.
- Fear of Loss – Often people think that they have to trade one thing to get another, and they are too attached to the thing they think they have to give up to make the change to the thing that they want.
- You’ve been working on the symptoms not the root cause – you’ve made great changes that have taken hold and are making some progress, but not enough for the work you’ve done.
- You don’t see the real issue – you’ve got a blind spot – one of the hardest things about getting further along in your path is the issue of how to find the next thing you need to work on. You’ve done all the obvious stuff, but now you have to learn to see into your blind spots.
Would You Like to Find Out Why You’re Stuck?
I offer a FREE energy scan that will help you identify the reasons behind what is holding you back. This is an important first step towards making real progress in your life and making all your efforts actually count towards your growth. Sign up for your free session today. https://www.timetrade.com/book/MY69L
“Working with Kelle rocks! In a short time, she helped me to see the root cause of some of my procrastination behaviors. She provided me with some simple, practical tools for time management and creating healthier boundaries with others. I had too many a-ha moments to even count. The most amazing gift I received was being reminded about what really matters, the underpinning of my world, which will help me make my passions a priority in my daily life. Kelle is not just a coach, but a powerfully loving and fully present healer that helps you to really transform, making lasting changes in your life.” – Lisa Marie Selow
“When Kelle and I first connected by phone, I fell in love with her spirit. There is such a nurturing quality about her that is warm and fun, a true Spiritual Midwife! She is an amazing woman who will assist you in transforming the way you think about your work and how to better express your purpose. And she does this with such grace and ease.” – Tonya K. Freeman
“Kelle knows how to ask the right questions to get you to uncover your stuck places. While she offers practical solutions, she powers your transformation with moving rituals that mark the moment of change. I have been challenged by her questions, uncovering places of resistance I didn’t know existed in me. But the most important thing is that the changes I have made are solid.” – Kristy Wacek
By Kelle Sparta | September 18, 2012
It’s 4:30am and I cannot sleep. I have this energy running through my body that has driven me out of bed with this need to write. I need to tell you something. “Good enough” isn’t. Ever. You’re better than that. And you know it. You know that merely going through the motions of your life, getting everything on your “to do” list checked off and finding a little “me time” at the end of the day will never satisfy your need for purpose in your life. All it can do is fill the time between now and the hour of your death. It will provide no greater value to you or to anyone else. And yet, you are still here. Why?
Existence vs. Living
Like you, so many people spend their entire lives merely existing when they could be really living. But they don’t live because living takes courage and, especially in the U.S., we don’t teach people how to be courageous. Sure, we learn how to recognize courage in the form of the underdog taking on the Goliath, but it is usually when the underdog has nothing left to lose that they finally reach into themselves to find the courage they need to move from existence into living.
Courage Isn’t Situational
But how many times in your life do you get pushed up against a wall like that? Not many. Most of the time, life just blithely rolls along with some challenges and some rewards, but nothing that shakes us to the very core of our being. And if you don’t pay attention, years can go by without you finding a reason to call up your courage even once. And yet, it is the struggle that defines us: the bringing up of courage on a daily basis that sets the foundation for true meaning in our lives.
Our Puerile Existence
We live in a sterile world of relative safety. Unlike those living in third world countries, we don’t face the struggles of finding water that won’t make us sick, or enough food to maintain our health, or sufficient medicines to treat our illness when we get sick. We don’t have to hunt and gather, we simply walk down to the supermarket. And this is the real gift of our lives here in a first world nation.
Privilege = Responsibility
But with our great privilege comes the responsibility to expand what human kind can become. Because we don’t have to worry about daily survival, we are freed up to consider the nature of the universe and, in fact, the deeper stuff of who we really are. And yet, most of us miss this mission, instead drowning ourselves in artificial quests via television or movies, alcoholic hazes, and the drama of who will get that next promotion at work. But this is not really living.
Living Requires Facing Your Fears
It is not enough to get up every day and go through the motions. It’s not even enough to pursue power, influence and wealth (although our culture would very much like us to believe it is). True living comes from taking a long hard look at yourself and facing the fears that lie under the surface of your world view. It comes from facing your inner demons and learning how to embrace the gifts that they have to offer you. True living comes when you have walked into your inner darkness to find the richness of the soul soil that it contains.
Until You Know Who You Are, You Cannot Be Fully Alive
It is in this quest for the inner self, the wholeness of being that we come to life. It is in the revelation of discovering a pattern that has held us back for years, the releasing of a belief that doesn’t serve, and the beating back of self-doubt that gives us the strength to strive for more. Heroes aren’t born, they are made – forged in the fires of adversity. If we do not engage our own inner hardships, how can we ever hope to be the heroes of our own story?
And So, This is My Battle Cry To You
If you are dissatisfied with your life, dig deep. Stop running away from your fears and turn to face them. Start small and build your courage, it is a muscle like anything else and it grows stronger with use. Risk something. Change something. Move towards something. Choose differently. But choose consciously – perhaps for the first time, perhaps not, but choose because if you allow life to choose for you, then you will be carried along on the tides as you have always been – subject to the storms and eddies without any power over yourself or your experience. Stop existing and start living!
By Kelle Sparta | August 27, 2012
I know what you’re thinking
Oh my God I’m blind!
Put your clothes back on, you cow
And cover your behind!
Those rolls of fat are far too big
You should workout more!
What kind of lazy bitch are you?
You fat-assed little whore!
But this is where your eyes are wrong
You do not really see
The amazingness before you now
The lusciousness of me
I am the Luscious Goddess
I am the Rounded Queen
My body is a sacred shrine
It’s soft and warm and clean.
This butt was made for pumping
These breasts they need a dive
My breath will come in gasps
As I welcome you inside
Come worship at my pearly gates
Come whisper at my door
Come slip a prayer inside me
Then pray and pray some more
My body welcomes you inside
An answer to your prayer
It’s soft, it’s warm, it’s luscious
It’s better when it’s bare
My skin is made of milky white
My nipples perky pink
My belly, soft and round and bold
The perfect place to sink
Your head upon as you release
The tensions of your day
The perfect place to breathe and be
And watch them roll away
I can be your mother
Or I can be your wife
I can even be the mistress
In the darkness of the night
I can be the pure one
Of chaste virginity
I can be the dark one
Who rocks upon your sea
I am the Luscious Goddess
My body is your shrine
You come inside to pray me
Pray now that I’ll be thine.
By Kelle Sparta | August 24, 2012
Have you ever felt like you’re spinning out of control?
It can feel like things are going too fast, or that there is this constant state of panic just under the surface, or that anxiety is your most prevalent emotion. It can also feel like massive overwhelm and shut down. All of these point to the energy of spinning.I say “the energy” because that’s what it is.
It’s an energetic that you’re engaging that causes you to spiral. It’s just like panic in that it takes hold of you and keeps you in the cycle until you can jolt yourself out of it.
The key is not to engage the energy.
- So if you’re stressed about how much work you have to do – stop thinking about the big picture and focus only on what you have to do right now and then celebrate the completion of each item as you go.
- If you’re worried about your relationship, stop playing out horrible scenarios or memories in your head and focus on what is actually real in front of you right now.
- If you’re worried about your health, eat right, see your doctor (acupuncturist, chiropractor, dentist, etc.), and get some exercise.
- If your past is haunting you, stop tell yourself and everyone else the story. Refuse to give it space in your present world.
If you can’t do anything about whatever is bothering you, let it go and trust that it will be OK.
If you can do something about it, stop sitting in dread and fear and go deal with it.
But whatever you do, identify the source of the spin and stop it.
If you’re having a hard time identifying the source of your spin, sign up for one of my free 30-minute intuitive coaching sessions.
By Kelle Sparta | August 11, 2012
I deserve to be loved.
So I love myself – deeply.
I deserve to be held
So I hold myself in reverence.
I deserve to be happy
So I choose joy in every moment.
I deserve to be cherished
So I handle myself with kids gloves.
I deserve a life of leisure
So I take it slow and easy every day.
I deserve to be steeped in love
So I give out love like chocolate kisses on Valentine’s Day.
I deserve to be respected
So I honor myself in each moment.
I deserve to be supported
So I surround myself with good friends.
I deserve to be important in someone’s life
And so I put myself first.
Because if I don’t do these things for me
Why would anyone else think to?
By Kelle Sparta | June 13, 2012
Sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe for the winds of change blowing in my face.
Some days I find I am breathless and oxygen deprived and living with the undertone of panic quietly nipping at my heels.
And there is no reason for this, except that the energy of the world is running faster.
My life is fine. I am fine. There is nothing wrong. Except those things that are, but then, some things are always wrong, so what’s changed?
I’ve forgotten to breathe. I’ve stepped away from those things that feed me and stepped into avoidance habits. I have chosen watching TV and turning off my brain over sitting quietly and listening to nature. Because somehow I thought that nature would be running as fast as my life.
But it isn’t. It’s quiet and still and patient as ever.
And so, last night, I sat on my front porch in the dark with my sweetheart. And we cried. We cried for people who had passed that we were missing. We cried for those in crisis in our lives and for ourselves. We cried at the overwhelm that has been running our lives and for the last few years of pain that we have had to endure to get here. We emptied ourselves out into the darkness and she held us as we held each other.
And in those tears I reached out to my ancestors to ask for support. I surrendered my resistance to the huge changes that have been thrust into my life and I relaxed back into my faith in the universe.
And this morning I awoke feeling quieter – more peaceful. I was still tired. Letting go of that much “holding on” is exhausting. But ultimately, I’ll feel better and my energy will return with a vengeance. Maybe later today, maybe tomorrow, but I know it’s coming. I’ve done this before.
So here is my question to you. How much are you resisting in your life? How much of your energy is it taking you to stave off the panic, the fear, the shame, the dissatisfaction? When are you going to let go of those things that hold you back and keep you in that panicked state?
I invite you to do what I did. Go outside tonight. Listen to the darkness and let her speak to you of those things you are pushing away. Let her whisper in your ear those things that you have been silencing. Let the feelings surface and wash over you. And when they have subsided, see what the landscape looks like. You’ll know what to do from there.
And if you find that your spirit is crying out for change, I invite you to join us in our Unleash Yourself! program starting in July. We’d love to share your journey with you.
By Kelle Sparta | June 12, 2012
A couple of years ago, I had the year from hell – IRS tax audit, forced move because my landlord went into foreclosure, the breakup of a long-term relationship and the death of my m0ther – all in under 9 months.
I was screaming “uncle” at the universe and it was stomping on my face over and over again.
As a result, I stopped trusting the universe. I’m not sure when it happened, but it did, and I have been in a slump ever since.
It’s Easy to Get Negative
It’s so easy to get stuck in a negative mindset. Everything around us is focused on the negative. I lost my habit of thinking positively and moving forward with the expectation that things would work. I stopped choosing to be happy. And it spiraled.
Getting Out Is Hard Work
Negative thoughts are like an addiction. They feed us with adrenaline and angst and something to complain about. They give us permission to be a victim and to keep ourselves from having to be responsible for our lives. And I had fallen into that trap – between the grief and the loss and the stress – I just couldn’t keep myself from falling in again. It’s a funny thing, no matter how many times you fall in and have to haul yourself out of it, it’s still a moment-by-moment discipline to keep from jumping back into the hole – until it isn’t.
Getting In the Habit
It’s hard work to re-establish the habit, but then it’s easier again. There are moments of backsliding, but they become more and more fleeting as you work on it. So that’s what I’ve been doing since January – dragging my sorry butt out of that hole over and over again. And it’s working. I knew it would, but it didn’t make it easier. But as I find my footing on solid ground further and further away from that hole, I’m seeing the world as the bright and shiny place I’ve always known it to be. I’ve seen myself as less and less the victim that I know I’m not. I’m standing on my own two feet and screaming “Hello world! I’m baaaaack!!!”
How Are Your Keeping Yourself In the Hole?
What is your trigger that causes you to jump back into the hole? What is that moment, or person, or thought, or experience that knocks you off your feet each time? And how can you take back the power from it?
Taking Back Your Power
As a practicing shaman, I talk to people a lot about owning their power and choosing where to place it. When you get triggered by someone or something, it’s not about them – it’s about you.
I stopped trusting the universe, it didn’t stop trusting me and it didn’t suddenly become less trustworthy. I did that. And I paid the price. And until I own that, I can do nothing to change it. I take my power back by refusing to be the victim and by owning my part in it.
When you are triggered, the key isn’t to move away from the upset, but to move into it with a cold, hard look at yourself. Take the other person out of the picture. They are just pushing a button that you installed. Look at the button and see how you can remove it. That’s the only way to truly solve the problem.
Be Kind To Yourself
This kind of introspection is difficult. It’s sometimes really slow-going depending on how deeply held your stories are around the issue. So don’t be hard on yourself if it takes you time to work it out. Some things just take time. It took you time to put them in place and to nurture them, it will take you time to root them out too. So try not to beat yourself up if it’s not going as quickly as you’d like.
If you’re having a hard time getting through something or you’re just so triggered that you can’t see around it to be able to see your part in it, that’s a good time to reach out for help. As you can see, I have a lot of experience with this particular process. I’ve been in and out of the hole a ton of times in my life and I know the way. I can help. Call me to book a private session. One of my great skills is the ability to give people a new perspective on things. And sometimes, that’s all it takes to move things forward.
By Kelle Sparta | June 11, 2012
Many years ago, I used to walk around with permission slips in my purse. I had designed them with blanks for the person’s name and what they wanted to do so that I could fill in the blanks anytime I heard someone say “I’ve always wanted to…” They even had a friendly little fairy with her magic wand out.
And each time I heard someone utter those fateful words(even if they weren’t talking to me – yeah, I’m obnoxious like that) , I would whip out the permission slip, fill it out, sign it, and hand it to a stunned person who then had to contend with the fact that they had just been given permission to do exactly what they wanted.
When I watched Leah Shapiro’s video about permission last week, I remembered this. I think it might be time to start carrying those slips again. I’ve recreated them again. Thought you might like to have some too. So I’ve included a link to a printable pdf. Let me know how it goes for you. I remember it being a lot of fun.
Want to really give yourself permission? Join our Unleash Yourself! program and get going on building a life you can REALLY love.
By Kelle Sparta | June 7, 2012
It seems so egotistical, arrogant, and wrong. I mean, who am I to say I’m a goddess? Seriously.
And yet there is this knowing at the core of my being that tells me otherwise.
And then there’s the fear of what you will think of me. But then I’ve already thought those things about myself so does it really matter?
So what I really want to say is that thinking of myself as a goddess is hard.
Ironically, being one is pretty simple. You see, being a goddess is just about being in love with the world. I find that most people have an abundance of love to give. They just feel like there’s no love coming back. So maybe I should add that to the instructions:
- Fall in love with the world.
- Let it love you back.
Yes. That’s it. Seems simple, right? I mean if you think of the average dog, they fit this criteria. But the most profound things are often deceptively simple.
And I do mean deceptively simple.
Because I’ve been walking this path for a while now and I have to tell you, it’s taken me over 12 long years of hard work to get to the place where I could do those two things. Where I could love people no matter how they treated me. And where I could love myself enough to walk away from those who treated me badly and just love them from afar – so that I could make room for those who can love me up close in ways that I can receive.
It required a lot of steps in my personal process including:
- Letting go of my anger and blaming
- Evicting my victim
- Allowing myself to be human (and not having to be perfect all the time)
- Letting go of the idea that I create value by doing things for people – and accepting that I could be valuable just being me
- Relaxing into allowing others to do things for me (rather than being attached to being independent and self-sufficient)
- Trading in hyper-vigilance for presence
- Upgrading from sexy to luscious
- And much more… too much to list here really.
But don’t listen to what I have to say about it. I think that pictures speak so much louder than words. Below is a pictorial of what I looked like over the last 12 years. I can see the inner changes reflected in my face and I think you will too.
I see the forced smile in front of the Christmas tree that was supposed to be a happy time. It wasn’t. I had built the life that everyone said I should want and found that I didn’t like it at all.
I would ask my husband for a divorce at the beginning of the next year and that would mark the beginning of my new spiritual journey to find myself.
This photo was taken as part of a portfolio-building shoot of nudes for a photographer who was a friend of a friend. I was on walkabout (spiritual pilgrimage), but I did it in my car in the US. You can read the full story on my (very old) livejournal blog from the time.
The photographer, Matthew Handelman, really got how angry I was in a way I didn’t even know at the time. He posed me for this photo and it made me very uncomfortable at the time. Now, looking back, I see how much more clearly he saw me than I saw myself.
This was another photo shoot with a photographer friend. This time it was Jon Fischer. (Yes, I’m incredibly blessed to be surrounded by talented, clear-sighted photographers.) There were other, more fun photos from the shoot, but this has always been my favorite.
It was the point where I started to soften. I’d done a lot of the anger work and was beginning to let love in. I see the sadness and the grief and the pain I was finally embracing and the strength that showed up underneath them.
And finally, the person you see today. Yet another photographer friend, Richard Curran, caught this image while I was singing on stage.
The softness has fully taken hold. The grief is much less evident, even though my mother passed away in between this picture and the last. There is strength, but it’s strength in vulnerability rather than strength fueled by anger.
This has been my journey. It has been a long one, but my life has been rich and filled with love and friends along the way. I highly recommend it.
If you’d like some help getting started becoming your goddess self, I’d love to help. Check out my Unleash Yourself! program that I run with my soul-sister, Leah Shapiro. Or, if you’re a little further along and finding that you can’t see what’s in the way anymore, contact me for a private session.