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Processing Heavily - Notes for the Road
By admin | June 17, 2009
Overdone and Processing Heavily
I’m hearing a lot of people telling me that they are overdone. They have tons of good things happening and they are running like mad, trying to say “yes” to everything while it’s still there. This is all well and fine for most times, you have to strike while the iron is hot after all. But this time around, I’m also seeing people doing a LOT of personal growth work on a core level at the same time as they are running themselves ragged.
Rote Memory Dump
Did you know that when you are processing really core-level stuff (usually stuff from your childhood), that it can delete your short-term memory and mess with your routines? Those things that you do so much by rote that you could do them in your sleep are suddenly disrupted for no apparent reason. It’s like you get lost on where you are in the process. And don’t even think that you’re going to remember the time you settled on with your client for lunch or the location unless you write it down. And make sure when you write it down, it’s not on a random piece of paper or you’ll forget where you put that too.
A Day In My Life
For example, after spending a week with my mother after her hip surgery, I’ve had some revelations about my upbringing and it’s putting my life into a whole different perspective. I’m questioning how I deal with some of life’s most basic issues. As a result, I’m finding that some of my basic habits are being disrupted. I have done my shower routine exactly the same way for 30 years and yet, for the last two days straight, I’ve completely forgotten the conditioner until I try to rinse it out of my hair and realize it’s not there. Basic stuff, right? But this is how it is.
Why Does This Happen?
I don’t know the scientific theory on this, but I will tell you from years of personal experience and as a coach working with countless clients, what I have found is it seems that the brain only has so much RAM (Random Access Memory - like a computer). This is the stuff that we can hold in active contemplation - both consciously and subconsciously. Usually, our conscious RAM is taken up by what we’re doing for the day, keeping lists of who we’ve talked to and appointments we have. Our subconscious RAM is used by our rote systems for things like our shower routine, or how to get to work everyday, or how to make coffee in the morning. I’ve seen people stare at a computer screen trying to spell the word “what” and having typed “wat” and not being able to figure out why it looked wrong. Their subconscious mind was busy processing the latest revelations and had no room left to engage their basic spelling routines.
What Happens When We Really Change
Many people will tell you that they’re going to change something in their lives, but few actually follow through. When you do actually make a change in your life, something inside you shifts too. Some changes, like giving up soda or giving up your car in favor pf public transport will have superficial effects and will cause some distress in the conscious mind as you have to constantly shift your thinking when dealing with these issues. Temporary change comes when you change your choices. True change isn’t achieved until the new choices become thought habits.
Deeper, Core Level Change
Some changes are faily benign, others run deeper. Changing your entire perspective on your life or yourself can mean a fundamental shift. In these cases, it’s as though your brain needs to go through a rebooting process. For some people it’s a hard-core reboot where the system has to shut down entirely and rest before being brought back up. (This is what happens when people have breakdowns.) Many others, however, can find relief in periodic disc defragmentations.
Defragging Your Brain
For those not fabmiliar with basic PC maintenance, a disk defragmentation is when the computer takes all of the fragmented files and moves them to a larger space on the disc and puts them back together again. It then compresses all of the used space into the same area so that the free space is continuous so that new files don’t get fragmented. The end result is that the system works faster and more efficiently. The more disc memory you have, the longer the process takes and the rest of the computer really shouldn’t be used while it’s happening. What I mean by a disc defrag in the case of your brain is that the brain shuts down certain functions to allow space for the maintentance cycle to do its work.
What Happens When It Happens
For example, let’s say that you’ve suddenly realized that events in your life that you had allowed others to categorize as failures for you were, in fact, just things that you had never actually commited to doing - you had just humored others in doing them. You had succeeded in everything you had ever wanted to do, but others had minimized those successes because the items weren’t on their agenda for you. If this were true, you would have spent your entire life believing that you were an abject failure at anything important. But if someone came along when you were open to the idea of reassessing your past and pointed out that you had been extremely successful at the things you wanted to do and not at the things you didn’t and that you seemed to be a complete and utter success to them, that might cause a brain defrag moment. In that moment of revelation, you would sit back and nothing else would exist as your brain went back in time and reindexed all of the events of your life to put them into the new context. Now imagine how different your life would look once this reorganization of your memories took place. Do you think life looks different for someone who believes themselves to be a failure than it does to someone who believes themselves to be an unparalleled success? You bet it does. (For the record, this experience happened to a friend of mine at the dinner table one night. He checked out entirely for the remainder of the main course and we sat in silence through dessert as his brain reindexed his entire life. He would start to speak and get a word or two out and then stop as the next memory came up to be reindexed.)
Awareness Is Key
This is fun to think about in theory, but in practice it can be quite disorienting. Imagine, for example, that your brain is rebooting on a core level and instead of not getting your shower routine right, you forget how to drive by rote. Suddenly, you have to pay incredible attention to the road, like you did when you were just learning to drive. (Ideally in this scenario, you’d let someone else drive until your brain was done with the reboot.) But these are things that we do unconsciously - how do we notice when they are off-kilter? Trust me, you’ll notice. I mean, it’s disconcerting to find yourself trying to rinse out conditioner that isn’t there. The challenge is in whether you pay attention enough to realize that the change in your rote patterns is a symptom of a deeper issue. That’s where the awareness becomes more important. After all, it’s easy to just say “oh, I was distracted”‘ and move on. But you’re distracted all the time while doing rote functions - that’s the definition of what makes them rote - you can do them without having to pay attention to them. It’s important to notice when they go awry.
How To Know If It Is Happening To You
- Are you getting forgetful?
- Are you feeling overdone?
- Are you more tired than usual?
- Are you finding that rote tasks aren’t getting accomplished in the right order or at all?
- Is your brain turning into fuzzy mush?
- Are you looking at your life differently as the result of a change in perspective, a revelation about your present/past, or a choice to treat yourself and/or your world differently?
Any one of these symptoms can be attributed to any number of issues. But the last one combined with any of the others is likely to indicate a defrag/reboot period in your life.
What To Do If It Is Happening To You
- Clear your plate as much as possible.
- Put things off that can be put off.
- Say “no” to other things.
- Sleep more - a lot more - than usual. Sleep is the best time for the brain to defrag - it’s not trying to do anything else at the same time.
- Be kind to yourself and don’t plan to get too much accomplished on the outside - you’re already doing a TON on the inside.
- Say “yes” to people who want to take care of you or do things for you.
- Give yourself quiet time, without the TV, the radio or the internet - time for your brain to not have to process new input.
Most of all, don’t judge yourself - there is nothing else you should be doing. This is temporary. It will pass. In the meantime, enjoy the cycle and the downtime. And remember, if you’re rebooting, you’re growing. And that, according to my definition, is the true level of success.
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How To Keep A Positive Outlook
By admin | February 18, 2009
Everywhere you look there are indicators that the economy is tanking. Bad news pervades the scene. How is a generally positive person to keep her usually rosy outlook on track? I don’t know about you guys, but I have a few tricks up my sleeves that help me to stay focused on the positives in life.
Don’t Watch the News!
The news outlets are only looking for the worst, most sensational news to tell you about. They do this because this is what people will pay for. It’s sad, but it’s true. I stopped watching the news years ago when a woman news achor was reporting about an accident involving a school bus and when she said “thankfully, no one was hurt”, she sounded disappointed. I was done. And you know what? I haven’t missed anything. In 10 years nothing that has been relevant to me has passed me by. There’s always someone who tells me when the blizzard is coming or the latest heart-warming story or when I should be on the lookout for something. I haven’t missed anything except the blood and gore and general unhappiness in the world. This one act alone has been HUGE in improving my outlook.
Don’t Watch Crime Shows
I used to be a crime show fanatic. I watched all of the Law and Orders, all of the CSIs, Crossing Jordan, NCIS, you name it, I watched it. And then a few years ago, I got TiVo and I could watch them on demand. I’d watch four or five hours in a row if I had a free evening. A few months later, I started getting migraines - bad ones. After a couple of years of this my boyfriend at the time suggested that I take a break from TV for a while. He thought that all of those crime shows couldn’t be helping my stress levels. I thought he was nuts, but I agreed to put a moratorium on watching any TV for a couple of weeks. When I came back to it, I watched four hours of shows at a shot and by midway through the last show, I had a migraine. That proved it for me. I haven’t watched a crime show since.
Do Hang Out With Other Positive People
One of the best ways to avoid the blues is to hang out with other optimists. Stay away from the negative Nellies of the world and keep yourself busy with those who are holding the best outlook in life. One way to do this is to attend networking events with positive outlooks. Here are a few events that can help you with this goal no matter where you live (they are hosted on BlitzTime):
How To Motivate People To Take Action and Buy Even in a Slow Economy
It’s All About Who You Know: A Business Development Networking Blitz
Read Positive Books
I love to read. I don’t always have time to read an entire book at a sitting, but I love to surf and sample my books. I do divination by book sometimes when I’m looking for a little direction. The lovely thing about this is that I can mostly pre-determine my answer by the book I pick. It works like this: ask a question, grab a book and open it to a random page and start reading for the answer. You’d be surprised how often it’s really relevant.
My Recommended Books
Anyway, there are a few books that I would recommend you read whether you read them in bits and pieces or all the way through to keep you in a positive mindset. They are:
Loving What Is by Byron Katie - I love this woman. My favorite quote comes from her: “I know everyone in the world loves me. I just don’t expect them to know it yet.”
Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach. I’ve read this book about 10 times in my life. I adore it and it keeps life in perspective for me.
The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. There’s nothing like understanding the nature of things to keep you relaxed and moving forward. This one is good for that.
Want to know more about my perspective on the world and how I stay balanced? Check out my ebook Going Within:Finding Balance In An Unstable World
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It’s All In Your Perspective
By admin | February 18, 2009
I’ve had a hard day today. I’ve been running up against deadlines, trying to get my speaking engagements set for my trip to Florida (see my last post for more on that) and getting the word out to other trainers about the Real Estate Week I’m setting up on BlitzTime, so I’ve been flat out. I worked 12 hours yesterday and I was planning on doing much the same today. Sadly, the house didn’t agree.
This morning the hot water heater gave out. It’s only 3 years old, but it was tired, so it took the big dirt nap. So, rather than doing all of the important things that HAD to get done today, I spent the morning on the phone with warranty people, the plumber and the handyman (who was here doing other work) trying to get it sorted out and coordinated. Then I had to run out to collect my scarf from my friends’ house where I had left it because today it took me 20 minutes to get there, but next week it would take almost an hour and a half (the wonders of the public transport system and not having a car).
It was an exhausting day and I was feeling kind of sorry for myself and over-stressed, so I decided to go in for some comfort food and I went to a Chinese restaurant. I remembered that I had a red envelope with some cash that had been gifted to me as part of a Chinese new year celebration by my sweetie’s boss, so I used that money to buy my lunch.
While I was sitting there, a man came in saying that his social worker had just given him a credit card with some cash on it and he wanted to buy some dumplings. But the man behind the counter required a minimum purchase of $12 for him to use a credit card. He didn’t have the $3.50 for the dumplings and he couldn’t afford to buy more. He only had the card. I walked up to the counter and gave the restaurant owner a five dollar bill and said “it’s on me”. The man got his dumplings and all was right with the world.
When the man left, the owner came over and asked me why I paid for the man’s food. I said, “I was feeling kind of down about my life and all of the work that I have left to do tonight and the challenges that have come up this morning. Then that man came in and he didn’t have $5 for food. I suddenly realized that I DID have $5 for food. And not only that, I had another $5 that I wouldn’t really miss if I paid for his food too. So by not having money for food, that man has made my day better by providing me with some needed perspective. That was well worth the five dollars.”
So here’s my challenge for you today. What are you looking at in your life that’s bringing you down? Now consider not having five dollars to buy food. Feel any better? I know I do.
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Thanksgiving Amusement (Video)
By admin | December 13, 2008
I thought you guys might enjoy seeing this video made at our Thanksgiving. The man laughing uncontrollably is my boyfriend, Don. He’s laughing because after he poked one hole in the bottom of the recalcitrant jellied cranberry sauce can, she sstill couldn’t get the cranberry sauce out. Since one hole wasn’t enough, she had just said “Gimme another hole!” which, of course, hit his funny bone. This was his reaction:
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Going Out of Town? Here’s a Tip…
By admin | December 5, 2008
I’m headed out of town for the weekend. But before I leave, as I’m packing my bags to go, I’m also picking up the bits and pieces of things around the house that are not in their rightful places. I do this every time I go away. Why? Because order makes me happy and reduces my stress levels. Travel makes me a little stressed. So I know that after a weekend of being away, I’ll come home to a clean house and there will be order in my world again. As an added bonus, I’ll want to put away everything when I get home so that I can maintain the order I’ve found upon arrival. So that means that I’ll start my next day fresh and ready to go.
Well, that’s your tips for today. I’m off for my trip. Have a great weekend!
Get my e-book online Going Within - Finding Balance In An Unstable World.
Kelle Sparta is a life/business coach, motivational speaker, and shaman for self-motivated, high energy people offering workshops and personal consultations to businesses, groups and individuals that raise your consciousness, shift your perspective, and open new vistas. Kelle has spent the last 30 years studying mysticism, self-help, personal growth, religion, metaphysics and psychology. She uses her knowledge from these areas as well as her large array of personal experience to guide her clients. For more information about Kelle’s services, visit her website at www.KelleSparta.com © 2008, Kelle Sparta.
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Meltdowns Abound
By admin | November 17, 2008
I’m not sure what it is, but there’s something in the air. Perhaps the stars are arranged just so, or the elections bothered people more than they thought, or maybe it’s because the moon is at its closest point in 100 years (it is, you know), but whatever it is, something is up. EVERYONE is melting down. Over the last month I have had to comfort on average one person every other day who was in meltdown mode. And on one of the few days when it wasn’t me having to comfort someone else, I was having my own meltdown about being over done from being “on duty” for all of these meltdowns.
So, if you’re feeling a little more blue, or stressed, or panicked, or exhausted, or anything else these last few weeks, you are not alone. It seems to be going around. I know, it doesn’ stop you from meting down about it, but I find it comforting to know that when I am a puddle of goo on the floor, I’m not alone.
That is all…
Get my e-book online Going Within - Finding Balance In An Unstable World.
Kelle Sparta is a life/business coach, motivational speaker, and shaman for self-motivated, high energy people offering workshops and personal consultations to businesses, groups and individuals that raise your consciousness, shift your perspective, and open new vistas. Kelle has spent the last 30 years studying mysticism, self-help, personal growth, religion, metaphysics and psychology. She uses her knowledge from these areas as well as her large array of personal experience to guide her clients. For more information about Kelle’s services, visit her website at www.KelleSparta.com © 2008, Kelle Sparta.
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Product Review - Topricin - Freakin’ Rockin’ Topical Cream
By admin | September 26, 2008
Many of you know that I’ve been dealing with some seriously bad tendonitis for about 9 months now. It’s been so bad at times that I couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t find a position that didn’t hurt. With sleep depravation comes slower healing times, so it’s a vicious cycle.
Well, I started seeing an Acupuncturist a little while ago, Anthony Phillips (Arlington and Peabody, MA), and he did wonders. I felt well enough to stop the 1-2 sessions per week I had been doing for months. And for a while it was better. But then it started getting worse again. Since Anthony is only in my area one day a week, I sought other solutions. I went to my local health food coop (Harvest Coop in Central Square) and one of the women at the coop recommended that I use Topricin which is an herbal topical ointment specifically designed to work with tendon issues such as tendonitis and carpal tunnel syndrome. Well, all I can say is that I could kiss that woman.
I took it home and rubbed it in. Within minutes the pain was soothing away and I slept soundly for the first time in over a week. I have kept using it daily for about two weeks now and it, combined with a few massages from my boyfriend has opened up a whole new layer of locked muscles which have relaxed in my arms. I have range of motion like I haven’t seen in years. And no pain. I’m sleeping.
So if you have anything tendon related, get this stuff. Topricin. I haven’t found it in conventional stores, but the health food places and probably Whole Foods, Wild Harvest and possibly Trader Joes should have it. It’s worth going out of your way for.
Get my e-book online Going Within - Finding Balance In An Unstable World.
Kelle Sparta is a life/business coach, motivational speaker, and shaman for self-motivated, high energy people offering workshops and personal consultations to businesses, groups and individuals that raise your consciousness, shift your perspective, and open new vistas. Kelle has spent the last 30 years studying mysticism, self-help, personal growth, religion, metaphysics and psychology. She uses her knowledge from these areas as well as her large array of personal experience to guide her clients. For more information about Kelle’s services, visit her website at www.KelleSparta.com © 2008, Kelle Sparta.
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Rules of the Road (Start Here) TuneInSite Podcast Intro
By admin | September 25, 2008
Introduction to the TuneInSite Podcast with The Techno Shaman, Kelle Sparta. Visit www.TuneInSite.com for more information.
(Transcript Below)
Welcome to TuneInSite, the audio program that takes you on a scavenger hunt for unique experiences in everyday life. I’m Kelle Sparta, the techno shaman, and I’ll be your host for the show.
This is not your typical audio program. Unlike most programs, this show is not a passive experience where I talk and you listen. This show is meant to be interactive and therefore it requires your active participation in order for you to get the most out of it.
Throughout the shows it is my goal to open your eyes, expand your awareness, and wake you up to the wonders of the world around you.
Some shows will have you interacting with your environment physically (looking at the world from a new angle, noticing the details around you, etc.). Other shows will have you looking at how you are reacting emotionally, mentally, or physically to the environment you are in.
In the show notes for each episode, you’ll get a location to go to and, if necessary, pictures of the different places you’ll be directed to in the course of the show. If it’s an experience of a physical location, there will also be a link with a map and directions on how to get there as well as things you may choose to experience before or after your audio experience. Each set of show notes will also tell you if you need any special clothing or equipment for your experience.
I recommend that you do NOT listen to the episodes prior to doing the exercises. Let the exercises be fresh to your experience so that you aren’t tempted to edit your experience or to judge the exercise prior to trying it. Remember, you can always choose not to do the exercise in the moment – no one will be the wiser. But engage it first and then see how you feel.
The programs on this site are meant to be explored in order. Each one builds upon the last and expands your ability to appreciate the next. So try to restrain yourself from jumping ahead (I know it will be an effort for some of you). Have patience and faith that there is a reason the sessions are offered in this order.
Anytime you need to be reminded about the way in which to explore these podcasts, simply come back and review this initial intro. I will not be repeating these instructions on each podcast because that gets a little tiring and nobody wants to hear things over and over and over again certainly not mean I don’t want to see them over and over and over again so if you need more help come back here and listen again. And that’s it for the intro. I suggest you find your first podcast and get started. Let’s go exploring together. I can’t wait!
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The Five Dollar Exercise
By admin | September 25, 2008
In this podcast, we’ll be exploring your feelings about money and other people. Remember to review the “Rules of the Road” podcast before listening to this one so that you know how to best utilize these podcasts.
What You’ll Need:
- Your journal and a pen
- A five dollar bill (and a paper clip if it’s windy outside)
- Something comfortable to sit on that you can take with you
For this episode, you’ll need to be in a public location where there are lots of people coming and going.
The TuneInSite Podcast is designed to raise your awareness and bring you into consciousness about what’s going on inside your own head. So tune in, listen up, and let’s get started as Kelle Sparta, The Techno Shaman, takes you on another journey into your own beliefs, thoughts and feelings.
Topics: Audio Experiences, Mental/Emotional World | No Comments »
Let The Sun Shine In
By admin | August 18, 2008
I woke up this morning and it the skies were overcast. My living room was dark and dreary. I found it difficult to wake up. I sat down to write at my computer and found that I had to turn down the brightness of my screen if I wanted to be able to see the keys over the glare of the screen without turning on a light.
Then I realized that the blinds were still drawn from the night before. While it didn’t look like it would make much of a difference, I decided to open them. Suddenly, the room was filled with light. It was still diffuse – the sky was still overcast after all, but the act of opening the blinds made the difference between a dreary day and one with soft light.
As usual, my brain works in metaphor, so I immediately wondered what mental blinds were still drawn in my mind and how I could open them up to let the sun shine in there too. I started rooting through my head to see where I was down about things, feeling hurt or depressed. I worked on how I could re-frame those thoughts – look at them from a different perspective, one that might make me feel better. Here’s an example of what I found.
The latest thing that has been bothering me is that my friends don’t seem to know me anymore. I’ve been working really hard on being softer and more vulnerable, on putting down the warrior façade that I have lived in for the last 10-15 years. And I have succeeded fairly well in that goal. The problem is that the friends I have who don’t see me very often are still treating me like the warrior. They beat on me verbally and this causes me to have to step back into that role to defend myself. This had been depressing me – the facts of not being seen, getting my feelings hurt and being forced to defend myself against my friends and the knowledge that I created all of this for myself by who I had chosen to be for so long. I was stuck in judgment – my blinds were firmly drawn.
I could stay in this mode with my blinds drawn, or I could reframe the situation. I chose to reframe. Now I see this huge disparity between the world that was mine and the one that is mine now (I’ve found some new friends who appreciate the new me) as the proof of how far I’ve come and how much I’ve grown. It’s still sad to me that I’ll have to leave some of these people behind, but it is inevitable that as I grow, there will be some people who just don’t fit in my life anymore. I can grieve the loss without being hurt and angry (at them and at myself) and that’s what I’m choosing to do.
Then I looked at where I was being less of me than I could be. After all, that’s another form of drawing the shades. The shades not only block the light coming in, but going out too. I started to look at where I don’t quite put myself out there all the way and I’ve started to take action on those things too (this article is an example of that).
So here’s the question – where are your shades drawn? What anger or upset are you attached to that is making your life more dreary? How are you not putting yourself fully out into the world? Start looking for those things. They are insidious. Some of them have been with us for so long that we don’t even recognize them anymore but when we finally strip them away, the sun comes streaming in and the world is a very bright place indeed.
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